A letter to God..

I remembered pouring my heart to you, good and bad, happiness and sadness, excitement and anxiety, just the way I am feeling, being myself, with no pretence, no fake emotions, just me, because you know me through and through, you have created me, you have planned every moment of my life, and I also remember you telling me then, I will be with you always and I will always love you for the person you are and the person you will grow to become, you are mine...... and today when I enter the same church after 3 and a half years, I hear your voice in my heart again, I will be with you, Maria, I will never leave you, and so it has been God, you have never left me, and you have always answered that one prayer that I pray, Thy Will be done, now and always....... :)

It doesn't matter where you have been, it matters where you are going... :) :)

Hello guys,  I know its long time since I have written on my blog, but today I so want to share with ul the amazing retreat that I went to last weekend.

Ok first I wasn’t going to go for this “theology of the body” retreat, I was like ok, “I-don’t-think-this-is-going-to-make-a-difference-in-my-life”, or “I-don’t-need-this-in-my-life”, or “I-know-everything-that-is-important-to-me”. But alas I was proven wrong, right left and center.

I decided to go on Thursday. And I am so glad I went. I can’t thank God and all my friends enough who have acted as instruments to bring me to this retreat and closer to God, to know that yes I am a precious child of God, I was created by Him, in His own image, He has a perfect plan for me, if I trust him completely he will work his plan in my life.

There were various questions in life that keep bothering us:

Is there a real purpose to life and if so, what is it?

Yes we were created in God’s image, and God is love, so we were created to love, to give ourselves for the greater glory of God. Through our actions, words and deeds, we ultimately show love. Like the Blessed Mother Teresa said, we can’t do great things, but small things with great love.

What is love?

True love is when you want the good of other’s over your ownself.

True love is Free, Total, Faithful and Fruitful. If none of these conditions are satisfied then you know it is not true love…

Then one of the speakers gave a very good example of how we view ourselves, of sometimes how we judge ourselves, how we so many times fail to forgive ourselves and move on…

She took a brand new 100R note in her hand and showed it to the participants. Asked them if anyone needed it, obviously everyone wanted the money J then, she crumpled it, stamped on it and asked them the same question, but yes everyone still wanted it J because it was still worth 100R, then she asked them even if I put it under my armpit would ul still want it? And everyone was like yes, we still want it.

She even made it wet, and asked them do ul still want it? And alas everyone still wanted it, because whatever she did with the note, the “value” of the note wasn’t reduced, it was still a 100R.

The same is with us, when God created us, we were new, but as time passed and we knew the ways of the world and the pleasures of the world, we sinned, we were crumpled, sometimes by others and sometimes by our own spirits, we chose to walk on the darker paths in life, we felt miserable about taking the wrong decisions in life. We all go through the difficult times in life, And at those particular moments, we make decisions based on a lot of factors. Some of us wonder why me God, and some of us wonder, How could I not see it that time? How come I was so foolish? You probably wouldn't react the same way now and that's a good thing. It shows that you've grown. You've learned something from it.  But you had to go through it to get the lesson.

Our lives are about the decisions we make, about the choices we make in life, so if we have gone through a difficult time, we can decide now about the choice we are going to make today about it. What are we going to do about our lives? Are we going to learn from our mistakes and begin a new day? Or are we going to go back to where we were? The choice is ours.

my Forever friend :)

"Sometimes in life, you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being a part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you're down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry. You have a forever friend, and forever has no end."
---Unknown

i could so relate to this, feel blessed to have a forever friend :)

Realizations of a human mind --- Part 1 :P

Well, as the post says, realizations of the human mind… well, first off I realized that, the human mind gets bored of depression, u may feel depressed for a long period of time, but when you are feeling the lowest, it will not want to feel more depressed. Its when you are feeling the lowest, that u will rebound and come back to your senses. Just accept the state you are in, accept that this is a result of the past, accept that its ok, its fine to feel this way, accept that you are weak as you human. Do yourself a favour and give yourself time to heal, time to get back to where you want to be. Don’t try to fix the problem consciously, try to just divert your mind to other priorities.

Now, when I talk of priorities, you should give yourself the first priority, do things that make “u” happy, let your mind be free, not bound by anything, well that is love in its true form, to be free, so if u love yourself, set your mind free, let it go, let it think what it is thinking, don’t bind it with anything.. you are not bound to do anything, and you are never ever bound to hold on to the past…

Well, secondly after you have accepted that you are depressed and don’t want to stay that way, accept that this didn’t work, and not cling to it, in the hope that it will work, some hopes don’t bear fruit, so we should let go… accept that this won’t change by your clinging to it, leave it, learn to trust yourself that you exist even if the past doesn’t. Sometimes when something didn’t work out in the past, we stop trusting ourselves, like I had stopped.

But one thing we tend to forget here is, the person we are within, our soul, is still the same, no one ever can change that, not even drastic circumstances. We have to believe there is a hero within us:

There's a hero If you look inside your heart. You don't have to be afraid Of what you are .There's an answer If you reach into your soul. And the sorrow that you know Will melt away. And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on. And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive. So wen u feel like hope is gone. Look inside u and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in YOU......a song by Mariah Carey…..

So believe there is a HERO, in u, a beautiful wonderful person that God created. Sometimes some very superficial things cloud our mind of who we are, we forget our essence, our true being. We forget the beauty of our soul, but you will be reminded of urself when you see yourself being just the way you were… I was reminded of this myself…. You just have to go back to being you, just how you were…… and its possible!!! Just give yourself a chance… :-)

In the end, God has a plan, a wonderful plan, and you will reach your destiny, the one God has planned for you, even if you took a detour, God will pave another path for you, and you will reach it.. because that’s how it is….. :-)

Theology of the Body!!!

http://savinggraces.blogspot.com/2011/09/theology-of-body-in-sa.html

Well, this is my friends Post on the talk I attended yesterday. :) Do read :)
and she will be posting more so ul can even follow it, i am also going to write about what struck me the most :)

It made a difference to this one!!!!

An inspiring story i cam across...  :)
When you are trying to do some good in the world, and it makes a difference to atleast one, you should be grateful for atleast that one!!!


Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.
One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.
As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.
He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"
The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."
"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.
To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."
Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"
At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."

This story is written by Mr. Loren Eiseley.

My Testimony :)

There is so much confusion in my mind… confusion of whether what I am doing is right? What exactly is God’s will? Sometimes we take decisions in our lives and later we wonder if it was in line with what god wanted.. whether it was this that God had planned for me? What if I had not taken this step how would my life be? What if I had not taken any decision and left God to do whatever his plans were? The series of “what if” would continue…

I was asking this to God in my heart, and here came the answer:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

So here we are all called according to his purpose.. so there is nothing… absolutely nothing that happens if it is not God’s will.. here I mean about decisions that you r taking…

Proverbs 16:9

A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

“God has editing rights over our prayers. He will . . . edit them, correct them, bring them in line with His will and then hand them back to us to be resubmitted.”

– Stephen Crotts

Well, as always I came across these two lines, and don’t you think it’s so true, we can ask what we want, but God has the editing authority, he edits our prayers so we finally get what our heart is deeply yearning for… we might sometimes fail to understand what our heart deeply yearns for… but nothing WILL happen if it’s not HIS will…I would like to share two testimonies, where God gave me what I wanted, and one where he edited and gave it to me….. J

Well, exactly 5 years ago, as I was completing my graduation, it was my deepest desire to get a job through campus… that’s what I was studying for; it was why I had been so sincere, hardworking during my 4 years of engineering… I was very focused on what I wanted.. I wanted a job through campus. My didi had told me when I had joined engineering, that I had to study hard, get good marks, and as I was intelligent(it was her faith in me :P) I would get a job in campus, and this stress of getting good marks was due to the example of my brother. My brother is very very intelligent, way more than I am, but due to his focus on football, he never scored much in engg, resulting in a little struggle till he finally got a good job.. so I remember didi telling me to do whatever it takes to get a job through campus. And that was my ultimate goal… and I would like to share of how I got it exactly… not the way I expected.. But surely there could have been no better way!!!!

I was a good scorer in college, and as the companies that would come for campus interviews normally kept a cut-off, I was sure I would be able to attempt for all the aptitude tests… but alas, when I calculated my aggregate, it came out to be 57.something %, and most companies would ask for 58% and above.. so here goes my first disappointment.. Infosys, came and went, many companies came and went and I never gave the aptitude because I wasn’t eligible.. Then I remember Cognizant coming for campus… and I would always ask all of them if I could sit for the aptitude even though my aggregate was less than 58%. But all of them would say no,L. That day while I was idling in college, one of my friends just asked me, “how come ur aggregate is less than 58%? it’s not possible, you have scored well in all ur semesters.. Give me your marksheets.. lemme check..” and I was like, “come on how can I make a mistake in calculation, maths is like MY subject” but anyways he took my marksheets and he calculated them, and to our surprise it was 59%, I had indeed calculated it wrong. But instead of being happy that now I am eligible, I was very irritated, frustrated for all the opportunities lost, for all the chances I had just let go, and I remember going home and telling didi this and crying the entire night, for being so foolish, for all the lost chances, and I had just one question in my heart: why God??????? And God never gave me the answer.. Not immediately though J But I remember didi telling me, God must have something good planned for you… don’t worry… by somehow believing in her words I was hopeful again.. Yes god must have some plans for me, I am his child…so I was again hopeful.. But as most companies had come and gone, I had very few chances now and I had to make it through any of them…

Well, then as we were nearing the end of our year, Emerson, one of the best in our industry, had put on their notice that they would be recruiting freshers from our college. This came as a surprise, because, Emerson had never earlier come to our college for campus, so everyone was excited and me too… and as the story goes, I was the only one who got a job in Emerson, through campus of our college.

And that day, when I got the offer letter in my hand, I smiled and thanked God for finally giving me what I actually wanted.. and then I realized that even though I wanted a job through campus, I never wanted to work in a software company, I had taken Instrumentation as my stream, because I didn’t want to work in software… so u see God finally gave me what I wanted, but in his own way. I can never forget this big miracle that God did in my life…… and this job has given me so much than I could have ever asked for, so you see God knows the deepest yearnings of our heart, even though we have our own superficial one’s, he knows what we actually truly deeply want.

And the second one, is of my deputation to South Africa.. Well, a year back, I wanted to be away from my home town, wanted to stay alone for a year or so, for personal reasons. And I again turned to God for this… I informed my managers etc etc, that this was what I wanted and if there was any requirement I would be more than grateful if ul gave me the opportunity. And there was a requirement of a long term deputation to go to South Korea. But after getting my visa, all formalities done, the deputation was cancelled… I was so close to getting what I wanted, but God had other plans… I waited and waited.. Then came the South Africa deputation, and it was for 1.5 years, just what I wanted, and God answered my prayers. And I am so so lucky to be here, have met such wonderful people here, I feel truly blessed to be here. Now, here I always ask myself what if I had not wanted to go for a long term deputation… but I know the answer, God will never do anything if it is not HIS will, just as South Korea never happened. There would be no flight that would take me to South Africa, if it wasn’t God’s Will. I know this is God’s Will. He will never give me anything if it is not in line with his WILL J

There are so many miracles God has performed in my life, these are just an account of two of them, and I have written these down, so when ul are confused, wondering what’s happening, or what’s going to happen, ul know that God is always there, if u ask him to help you.. He will speak to you, give u answers u r looking for……. And this post is mostly for me to realize that God will continue to do miracles in my life… I just need to trust him, have no fear in my heart, but trust him with all my heart……..