My Testimony :)

There is so much confusion in my mind… confusion of whether what I am doing is right? What exactly is God’s will? Sometimes we take decisions in our lives and later we wonder if it was in line with what god wanted.. whether it was this that God had planned for me? What if I had not taken this step how would my life be? What if I had not taken any decision and left God to do whatever his plans were? The series of “what if” would continue…

I was asking this to God in my heart, and here came the answer:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

So here we are all called according to his purpose.. so there is nothing… absolutely nothing that happens if it is not God’s will.. here I mean about decisions that you r taking…

Proverbs 16:9

A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

“God has editing rights over our prayers. He will . . . edit them, correct them, bring them in line with His will and then hand them back to us to be resubmitted.”

– Stephen Crotts

Well, as always I came across these two lines, and don’t you think it’s so true, we can ask what we want, but God has the editing authority, he edits our prayers so we finally get what our heart is deeply yearning for… we might sometimes fail to understand what our heart deeply yearns for… but nothing WILL happen if it’s not HIS will…I would like to share two testimonies, where God gave me what I wanted, and one where he edited and gave it to me….. J

Well, exactly 5 years ago, as I was completing my graduation, it was my deepest desire to get a job through campus… that’s what I was studying for; it was why I had been so sincere, hardworking during my 4 years of engineering… I was very focused on what I wanted.. I wanted a job through campus. My didi had told me when I had joined engineering, that I had to study hard, get good marks, and as I was intelligent(it was her faith in me :P) I would get a job in campus, and this stress of getting good marks was due to the example of my brother. My brother is very very intelligent, way more than I am, but due to his focus on football, he never scored much in engg, resulting in a little struggle till he finally got a good job.. so I remember didi telling me to do whatever it takes to get a job through campus. And that was my ultimate goal… and I would like to share of how I got it exactly… not the way I expected.. But surely there could have been no better way!!!!

I was a good scorer in college, and as the companies that would come for campus interviews normally kept a cut-off, I was sure I would be able to attempt for all the aptitude tests… but alas, when I calculated my aggregate, it came out to be 57.something %, and most companies would ask for 58% and above.. so here goes my first disappointment.. Infosys, came and went, many companies came and went and I never gave the aptitude because I wasn’t eligible.. Then I remember Cognizant coming for campus… and I would always ask all of them if I could sit for the aptitude even though my aggregate was less than 58%. But all of them would say no,L. That day while I was idling in college, one of my friends just asked me, “how come ur aggregate is less than 58%? it’s not possible, you have scored well in all ur semesters.. Give me your marksheets.. lemme check..” and I was like, “come on how can I make a mistake in calculation, maths is like MY subject” but anyways he took my marksheets and he calculated them, and to our surprise it was 59%, I had indeed calculated it wrong. But instead of being happy that now I am eligible, I was very irritated, frustrated for all the opportunities lost, for all the chances I had just let go, and I remember going home and telling didi this and crying the entire night, for being so foolish, for all the lost chances, and I had just one question in my heart: why God??????? And God never gave me the answer.. Not immediately though J But I remember didi telling me, God must have something good planned for you… don’t worry… by somehow believing in her words I was hopeful again.. Yes god must have some plans for me, I am his child…so I was again hopeful.. But as most companies had come and gone, I had very few chances now and I had to make it through any of them…

Well, then as we were nearing the end of our year, Emerson, one of the best in our industry, had put on their notice that they would be recruiting freshers from our college. This came as a surprise, because, Emerson had never earlier come to our college for campus, so everyone was excited and me too… and as the story goes, I was the only one who got a job in Emerson, through campus of our college.

And that day, when I got the offer letter in my hand, I smiled and thanked God for finally giving me what I actually wanted.. and then I realized that even though I wanted a job through campus, I never wanted to work in a software company, I had taken Instrumentation as my stream, because I didn’t want to work in software… so u see God finally gave me what I wanted, but in his own way. I can never forget this big miracle that God did in my life…… and this job has given me so much than I could have ever asked for, so you see God knows the deepest yearnings of our heart, even though we have our own superficial one’s, he knows what we actually truly deeply want.

And the second one, is of my deputation to South Africa.. Well, a year back, I wanted to be away from my home town, wanted to stay alone for a year or so, for personal reasons. And I again turned to God for this… I informed my managers etc etc, that this was what I wanted and if there was any requirement I would be more than grateful if ul gave me the opportunity. And there was a requirement of a long term deputation to go to South Korea. But after getting my visa, all formalities done, the deputation was cancelled… I was so close to getting what I wanted, but God had other plans… I waited and waited.. Then came the South Africa deputation, and it was for 1.5 years, just what I wanted, and God answered my prayers. And I am so so lucky to be here, have met such wonderful people here, I feel truly blessed to be here. Now, here I always ask myself what if I had not wanted to go for a long term deputation… but I know the answer, God will never do anything if it is not HIS will, just as South Korea never happened. There would be no flight that would take me to South Africa, if it wasn’t God’s Will. I know this is God’s Will. He will never give me anything if it is not in line with his WILL J

There are so many miracles God has performed in my life, these are just an account of two of them, and I have written these down, so when ul are confused, wondering what’s happening, or what’s going to happen, ul know that God is always there, if u ask him to help you.. He will speak to you, give u answers u r looking for……. And this post is mostly for me to realize that God will continue to do miracles in my life… I just need to trust him, have no fear in my heart, but trust him with all my heart……..

some beautiful lines

some beautiful lyrics from the serial bade achche lagte hai :)

i absolutely love this serial :)

Dheere dheere hole hole chupke se ab hoga. Kahte hai hum pyar jise naa jaane kab hoga. Bade Achche lagte hai Yeh Dharti ,yeh nadiyaa, yeh rainaa aur ? Aur tum mm mmmm

Dil Ki Dhadkan Badhti Jaye Saamne Jab Woh Aaye.... Pyar Isiko Kahte Hai Kya Koi Yeh Samjhaye...... Magar Sachche Lagte Hai....... Yeh Dharti ,yeh nadiyaa, yeh rainaa aur ? Aur tum mm mmmm.... Bade Achche Lagte Hai........

 

My first angel in SA :)

I remember the day very much, it was very very cold. I had just arrived by Jet Airways to Johannesburg, South Africa.

There was one colleague from my office who was already here and he had the keys to my house here, so I had to come to his house to collect my keys. So morning 9:00 a.m., I arrived at his house. I had never met him in India before.

I knocked and his wife opened the door, and there was a 2 and a half/3 year old kid in her arms. I smiled. And Mahi smiled back. So I had made my first friend in South Africa. The kid had those curious, innocent eyes. That was the first thing I noticed about her.

As it was cold, I entered inside. Chetana, her mom asked me whether I will have tea, but I was very tired and wanted to have a shower soon, so I declined, and I could see Mahi was a little annoyed, so I decided to sit for a longer time and asked for coffee.

I searched for my purse and I had a 5 star with me (luckily) and gave it to her, she just wouldnt take her eyes off me, probably because she thought that I would go. She was clinging to her mother and having her milk now. They bribed her, that I would stay if she finishes her milk, and I too nodded when her parents made the deal.

She finished her milk and I finished my coffee, glancing at each other, me trying to make small converstaion with her.

Her mom informed me that they were the only Indians in that locality, and there were no children in their complex, so Mahi loved when people came home. It seems she was excited way before I was going to come :-)

After a promise that we all will go out later after 1 hr, Mahi finally allowed me to go, though not very happy or sure about the fact that we will meet.

From that day onwards, Mahi and me had become good friends. She would make me forget about my troubles and I would feel like life is beautiful with such angels around me.

I would be the baby sitter, (her parents willingly, enjoying some time together) play slides with her, sing songs with her, tell her stories again and again. :-) and she is such a loving child, very stubborn I should say :P and also very energetic, very active, doesnt quite like a non-activity moment. Keeps you on your toes, in the literal sense.

She has taught me so many things, of enjoying each moment and being happy to the fullest. When I am with her, I am completely immersed in what she is saying to me, her interesting stories about school, or the way she spend her day, or simply about her curious questions about so many things. She is quite an entertainer, knows her "munni badnaam" and dances on "sheela ki jawani".

Now that she has gone, I miss her so much :)

But I now realize why I loved this city from the day I came, because I had found an angel on the first day, who was always there to cheer me up with her innocent loving ways :)

Miss u Mahi :)

Names Black People have :) :P

Well, the black people here in South Africa are quite weird. They have names like Beauty, Priviledge, Knowledge, Justice, Innocent etc etc.. Isn't that extremely funny.. yes they are NAMES of people :) means the other day we had been in a restaurant and the waitress was named Memory :D i found it so so funny :)

Anyways, yesteraday had been to a function, and the MC was a comedian, and was cracking jokes on black people (he himself being black) and he said a funny thing :) he said imagine if a guy named knowledge went to the army then he would be called General Knowledge :) :D LOL :D oh god was i laughing or what :) funny :) i love this country for everything :) the people are so lovely :)

Toh Zinda ho Tum

ZNMD - Imran Poetry - Toh Zinda Ho Tum

Beautiful poetry :) and the best scene of the movie!!!!

Dilon mein tum apni
Betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum

Nazar mein khwabon ki
Bijliyaan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum

Hawa ke jhokon ke jaise
Aazad rehna seekho
Tum ek dariya ke jaise
Lehron mein behna seekho
Har ek lamhe se tum milo
Khole apni baahein
Har ek pal ek naya sama
Dekhen yeh nigahaein
Jo apni aankhon mein
Hairaniyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum

Dilon mein tum apni
Betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum

what u REALLY want!!

Remembered a dialogue from Jab we met, after chatting with a friend via mails...

"jo kuch insaan real main chahta hai, actual main, use wohi milta hai..."

and then i remembered the story too, yes after certain time Shahid Kapoor is full of positive energy. he gets what he wants, peace of mind and he also responsibly takes over from his dad's business :)

but what about the girl who told this dialogue, she didnt get married to Anshuman and then i realized that maybe she had a doubt in her mind, somewhere that he wouldnt get married to her, and if u have a doubt how would u want to get married to someone who doesnt want to get married to you, u wouldnt want that, you would want to be accepted and loved :) and i was wondering ki woh actual main chahti kya thi?? shayad sirf sachcha pyaar, shayad adventurous zindagi ;-) whatever the case...

it is true, insaan jo sachme chahta hai use wohi milta hai, kabhi hum jaante nahi hai hum kya chahte hai, kahi chupa hota hai woh but samajh aa jayega :) agar tum chaho toh :)

u always get what u REALLY, ACTUALLY want :)

Oh! The Places You'll go!!!

An inspirational poem i came across...

http://www.teamhope.com/seuss.htm

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
by the incomparable Dr. Seuss

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.
No! That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!

Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!